Hello again and greetings to all the loyal readers of TAOBW, and to anyone else who isn’t responsible for that new “Jurassic Park” movie that took more time from our lives than any Juul ever will.
We return this week after a brief hiatus to take the interns to Florida with those envelopes of cash that our readers send in. Now we’ve returned and brought everything you could possibly want with us, a new “Director’s Cut” extended edition of TAOBW. Streaming devices are on absolute fire right now with tons of solid choices.
This weekend brings us another UFC Fight Night and even some options for you to lower those legs on your recliner and get out of the house, so that you can go sit in another chair somewhere else. Let’s start the show…
Hustle (Netflix): If you’re looking for that typical Adam Sandler movie, you’re not going to find it here. I’m going out on a limb, but I’m calling it Sandler’s best performance of his career, as much as I love “The Wedding Singer.” “Hustle” sees Sandler takes on a much more serious role as a down-on-his-luck NBA scout. This movie is entertaining for anyone in your household, especially fans of Sandler and sports. There are tons of cameos from NBA stars, coaches, executives, and a good cast with a solid performance from Ben Foster (“Hell or High Water”). Don’t get caught up with all the basketball stuff as Sandler is the showstopper in this one.
The Old Man (Hulu/FX): Jeff Bridges Vs. John Lithgow, enough said. Too bad I don’t get to make the call on when enough is said in these articles or I’d just stop here. Bridges’ character has been in hiding for many years after leaving the CIA, where Lithgow was his handler. Apparently, together they handled some pretty crazy stuff.
Television friendships don’t last forever, and this one seems to be at a boiling point as Bridges looks to go on the run and Lithgow wants to make him go away (He wants to take him to the train station, which you’ll get if you watch “Yellowstone”). I’m getting serious “Dexter: Season 4” vibes from Lithgow, when he played the villainous Trinity Killer. The Old Man plays on FX each Thursday night and currently is streaming on Hulu with a new episode on the same night.
Unexplained with William Shatner (Netflix): Captain James T. Kirk from Enterprise Ship number … please don’t leave, I swear this isn’t about Star Trek. William Shatner’s hit show has moved from History to Netflix. This one features 20 non-fiction episodes about things like deadly forests, haunted houses, chupacabras, and—last but not least—an episode about the Mongolian death worm, all hosted by Shatner himself. Beam me up, Scotty!
(Editor’s note: It is the opinion of The County Line that chupacabras are indeed fictional, but we digress.)
Web of Make Believe: Death, Lies & the Internet (Netflix): Netflix is giving us six episodes of its new true crime series. Episode two provides a look at the case surrounding the death of Washington D.C. political staffer Seth Rich in 2016. Many theorists believe there are some major red flags, and they might even have some proof. Other episodes tell bizarre stories about a former Neo Nazi mouthpiece, a sextortion scandal and then something to do with Beanie Babies and fraud. This isn’t my favorite of the picks for the week, but the first two episodes are really good.
Only Murders in the Building (Hulu): Guess who’s back, back again? Selena Gomez is back, tell your friends. Gomez returns to the limelight, and she has Steve Martin and Martin Short with her for Season 2 of Hulu’s hit series. “Only Murders in the Building” was the best thing to grace our televisions in 2021, and it makes its triumphant return Monday night. We’ve talked about this show here at TAOBW before, so let’s see if you’ve been doing your homework. IF you’re a true crime or even a comedy fan, catch up on Season 1 with Hulu before the Season 2 premiere.
2022 Stanley Cup Final (Friday, 7 p.m., ABC): Friday night gives us Game 5 in a series where the Colorado Avalanche lead the best of seven matchup 3-1 over the Tampa Bay Lightning. If the Lightning skate to a win, Game 6 will be on Sunday night on the same channel.
For the uninitiated, hockey is a game played on ice with sticks and pucks where people from the north try to hit said puck past one another to make a siren go off.
NASCAR Cup Series: Ally 400 (Sunday, 8 p.m., NBC): NASCAR is a few thousand notches ahead of hockey in popularity amongst south central Kentuckians so let’s talk about rubber burning and melt the ice from the previous paragraph. To quote the great poet Biggie Smalls: “We’re going, going back, back to Cali, Cali.”
NASCAR heads to California for the Ally 400, where Kyle Larson got the checkered flag in 2021. If this was 1996, I’d say a Labonte brother would probably win this race, but they’d never step foot in California.
2022 College Men’s World Series (Saturday, 6 p.m., ESPN): Isn’t this always fun? Tune in to support your sixth-favorite SEC team as the Ole Miss Rebels look to capture the NCAA crown in only their second appearance in the College World Series in the last, oh, 50 years.
I’ll give Ole Miss credit for providing me with one of the more fun weekends of my college life as Oxford hosts one of the best Saturday afternoons a man can find. Bad news: this isn’t Oxford. This is Omaha, and the Oklahoma Sooners stand in the Rebels’ way. Oklahoma hasn’t been this far since 1994 but has made three appearances in the College World Series since Ole Miss last took its talents to Nebraska.
UFC Fight Night: Tsarukyan Vs Gamrot (Saturday, 9 p.m., ESPN): I’m not going to pretend we know much about the guys fighting in the main event (we’ll leave that to Hanson Crafton), but I can tell you that I’ve seen them, and they can fight.
Both fighters are ranked just outside of the top 10 in a stacked lightweight division of the UFC. My main rooting interest will be with Neil Magny, a former Southern Illinois Saluki wrestler and football player turned U.S. Army veteran turned UFC fighter. Not only is Magny a UFC fighter, but he’s a darn successful one, facing some massive odds in his bout. Who can’t get behind that?
At The Movies
Elvis: It isn’t that often during the streaming era of television that I’ll be bringing up multiple movies being released to theaters on the same weekend.
Honestly, how has no one ever done a successful Elvis movie before this? Don’t confuse this with those Elvis movies my mom made me watch as a kid where Elvis drove racecars and did karate. Baz Luhrmann (“Moulin Rouge” and “The Great Gatsby”), also known for his weirdly cool song advising us to wear our sunscreen, will make Elvis sound and look amazing. Those are his strengths, and this movie is a perfect way for him to flex those creative muscles. Early reviews say it passes more than just the eye test, so turn off your suspicious minds this weekend and take your partner to see this one.
The Black Phone: Never did I ever think I’d be here in 2022 telling you about a new Ethan Hawke hit movie. I was wrong and 2022 has been a massive year for the former “Training Day” and “Great Expectations” star.
Hawke also stars in Marvel’s “Moon Knight” that’s now streaming on Disney+, with good reviews as well. “The Black Phone” has been sending rumors around the internet, and we will just say that some think it’s the scariest movie they’ve watched in a long time. This is the perfect horror film if you’re into that genre. Just don’t forget that I tried to warn you.
This has been your featured presentation of TAOBW. Stay tuned in throughout the summer—we will be doing some different things. Look out for the “Top 100 things to stream this summer.” Yes, 100. You obviously (probably?) won’t be able to get through them all this summer, but they’ll be there waiting for you.
Readers are encouraged to send suggestions for “The art of binge watching” and/or tell Jordan how you really feel about his what-to-watch picks via email at Jordanwillis5393@gmail.com